“Do you ever feel apprehensive?” Man, is that a loaded question! In this case, the emailer was asking about whether to buy the D5 of D500? The response for me was real simple, both. But when I first read the email, my mind wasn’t on gear, but photography. Gear to me is a slam dunk proposition, it’s a tool and like any tool, if it fits the job than I need it in my bag. But when it comes to a particular photograph, project or visual statement, I’m full of apprehension. I have it sometimes to the point to where I literally don’t sleep. And I think that if you value your craft, love being a storyteller and I hate to say it, want to stay in business, you’d best have apprehension. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it but when you strive for the best from yourself, you’ve gotta ask yourself hard questions and some of those answers probably scare the crap out of you and that, creates apprehension!
Being a veteran of apprehension for over thirty years, I’ve managed to turn it into my favor, most of the time. It normally starts when I take on a project(s) that in the back of my mind, something says, “Don’t do it.” Some call this living on the edge or, pushing your comfort zone. I think it’s basically a combination of both and personally, it pushes my photography from within. External influences that push your photography, like paying a bill, is one thing. Pushing from within though, that’s the hard one because you’re depending on yourself to bring everything to life. There are times when this totally falls apart but from those you learn to turn into learning experiences. And the more you do that, the less life threatening the apprehension becomes to your photography. No, I’m not passed having apprehension about my photography, it’s part of everyday life it seems. I just am not paralyzed by it as much as I use to be.